The 80s MTV Relics: Laff-a-minute

[3david]

It's no secret that the Sirius 80s on 8 MTV Relics channel is an automated, thrown-together, sloppy, voice-tracked mess. One of the first post-takeover moves was to eliminate the live elements that made XM's 80s channel stand out, and to turn it into a typical Sirius robotic bore.

Still, one of the highlights is the weekend top 40 countdown, which a couple of years back was hijacked away from Casey Kasem by the Relic veejays. This has led to some classic moments, with each week turning up new mistakes, snide remarks about top-10 hits, and factual errors.

One of this week's howlers takes place before AND after Elton John's "Little Jeannie," a # 3 (# 1 AC) hit in 1980, which of course the channel usually does not play.

Introducing the song, Alan Hunter dutifully reads the info sheet someone emailed him, regaling us with a 2-week-old, widely circulated story about how Elton reads his favorite children's book, "The Hungry Caterpillar" to his young son each evening at 6:30.

At the end of the song, fellow voice-tracker Martha Quinn informs us that Elton John reads his favorite children's book, "The Hungry Caterpillar" to his young son each evening at 6:30.

A small-market radio station would catch this hilarious repeat performance. But a small-market radio station doesn't have people on opposite ends of the country "sharing" a radio show, with no idea what each other are doing.

Radio worth paying for: Sirius FM.

[musicfan19]

One of the Vidiot Veejays also said that "Sailing" by Christopher Cross was from the movie "Arthur."

Never mind that "Sailing" was NOT from "Arthur" which came out a year later.

I don't know how much these has-beens get paid, but it sickens me to know that part of my sub money goes to them. Thousands of qualified radio personalities are out of work, and these know-nothings clutter my radio.

[mikeargo]

And now we have to put up with both Mark Goodman & Alan Hunter on Classic Rewind

[staticradio]

[Michael S]

Also did anybody tell Martha that their doing 1980 this week not 1987 and she didn't not just say it once but four times.

[slipcue]

I particularly enjoyed the compression accentuating Nina's raspy breathing every few words. It was like having Brenda Vaccaro on the radio.

[GatorDJ]

We take you now to the reaction to this thread in the SiriusXM Executive Suite - the parenthetical remarks are from the proverbial fly on the wall:

But....but.....but.....they were celebrities!

(Once upon a time)

Celebrities in......NEW YORK CITY!!!!!

(Thirty years ago)

Did I mention they were CELEBRITIES IN NEW YORK CITY!!!!!

(Um, yes Mel, you did).

[markybee66]

I know I've heard these dweebs do this countdown for nearly 2 years and I have to say -- I was embarrassed to listen to them do that countdown this weekend from 1980.

Between Alan Hunter telling us to "hang in there, this is the '80s," to Martha having no flipplin' clue that this is 1980 and NOT 1987 and both Alan and Nina tell the same cockamamie story about Elton John's son being read to before AND after the song, I walked away embarrassed that I even LISTEN to this show.

But the idiots in charge think it's OK to give us four people who are as unenthused, cold and unexcited to do this countdown. Monkeys could do a better job at showing enthusiasm. Hell, *I* could do a better job showing enthusiasm than the Relics.

There's no excuse for paying for this service and having that performance pass as acceptable!!! And someone was right that if this was terrestrial radio, heads would've been chopped off.

Congratulations '80s on 8 dimwits, continuing to show your excellence at below mediocre standards.

[NewMexiCat]

I particularly enjoy the countdowns from the early (pre-MTV) 80's. We get to hear these 4 has-beens act so disgusted about having to play songs that were chart toppers before the advent of music videos. Darn it, these VJ's 15 minutes of fame just didn't cover an entire decade!

[Michael S]

[Dr. Steve Brule]

I agree that the 80s Countdown presentation sucks. But I think what bothers me the most is that I always feel like Nina Blackwood could pass on at any moment...I feel my nerves teetering on the edge despite the fact that it would be a "voice-tracked death". What a terrible way to go....die while voice tracking and never get to hit the button, leaving nothing but dead air (pardon the pun). But good lord....Nina's raspy breathing is the most haunting since that of Darth Vader. I haven't heard anyone with breathing that labored since finishing an Ironman triathlon. I could go on and on, but unlike these awesome veejays I know when to shut up.

[musicfan19]

I wonder if there will be any mention of MTV's 30th anniversary on the Relics channel? (Sarcasm fully intended)

In fact, will the schools be open? Will the mail run? Will my trash get picked up? I can't imagine America conducting normal business on the anniversary of the day those deadbeats got jobs.

And Doc, I'm with you on Nina. I fully expect half a lung to be coughed up any day now. God bless her, I hope there's a cure for whatever the hell has taken up residence in her throat....but you don't hire Stevie Wonder to pilot an airplane, you don't enter Clay Aiken in a weight-lifting contest, and you sure as hell don't hire Nina Blackwood to be a radio announcer.

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

This sounds like the person who put together the countdown either fucked up or they have multiple people doing it who don't talk. Can't blame the VJs who just likely get what they are supposed to talk about from their PD.

[that70sguy]

There's no telling who's at fault. But at a real radio station, someone would be held accountable. Judging from their track record of mistakes, I doubt that anyone at the 80s channel even cares.

[jcrean]

The sad part is that we have to listen to the countdown on the weekends if you want to hear anything other than the same 20 songs that we are subjected to all week.

I enjoy listening to the countdown for that reason alone - variety!